I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
