oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
