I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A bitchslap is in order.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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