mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
