I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
