I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
