The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex