then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
