i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
