Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.