you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet