I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.