did you get engaged???
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
