But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
