Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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