I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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