somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You took a bar mat shot.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
