my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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