oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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