So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
