then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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