never play flip cup with pint glasses
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
