Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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