I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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