I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize