i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
