girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
