My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
