The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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