Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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