I showed him my bush... on skype.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
