honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
