Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The Olympian is in my bed
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