is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Every concussion has its silver lining
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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