I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
