we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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