Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
