it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
