i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Me too!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
