Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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