Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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