Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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