Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
