i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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