Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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