my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
