no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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