u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Two words: blizzard sex
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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