Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
