Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
