Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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