We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
