help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
