dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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