dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
