This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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