he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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