so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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