Are we in a gay sports bar?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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