We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
