either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
