does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
