peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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