I am puke
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize