HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
