My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
