At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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