oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
